Village of Love
It truly takes all of us, along with the help of Spirit and Wisdom, to bridge the great divides and to make our lives whole.
Dearly Beloveds,
At 3:30 Thursday morning, I took my husband, son, and daughter to the airport so they could fly out West for a 2-week family vacation we’ve been planning for months.
I did not join them. Instead, I watched as my whole heart (or, at least, most of it) walked away from me after I spent the day prior holding vigil at the hospital while my dad underwent life-saving open heart surgery.
My dad survived, his heart is strong (says the surgeon), and he is currently healing in the Cardiac ICU. The relief I feel upon hearing this news and seeing my dad alive is indescribable. Like when they told me my children had been born and were alive and that I was, too, I can breathe, slightly more deeply, than most all of the days prior.
Upon my return home from the airport, tired and weepy, I began to question every decision I’ve ever made, and just before I swam completely down the drain, I stopped myself and said, “Claire, go to sleep.” So I did.
When I woke up a few hours later, I was still tired and had developed a massive headache, but, strangely, I felt clearer, less regretful and angry about the decisions I had to make regarding our family vacation, being present for my Dad’s surgery, and more.
The sandwich generation season is a long one and a loving one, and I’m grateful I’m here for it even as I sometimes lament its realities.
***
The chasm I experience between raising young children and caring for aging, sick parents is, at times, so vast and so wide, I fear I might break. Other times, the chasm becomes narrower, smaller, and I can see each side more clearly for the sacred places of love that they are.
In both the vast and narrower moments, Spirit is the bridge between the two worlds and Wisdom is the voice reminding me that instead of being separate and apart, the worlds of young and old, healthy and sick, painful and easy are actually two sides of the same coin. They aren’t all that different, after all, and the two need each other like we need air.
***
By the time you read this, I will have joined my husband and kids for our western excursion, feeling confident that leaving Dad healing well in the ICU with my mom and brother remaining close to him in Nashville is the best decision for now.
Thank God for family and communities of care. It truly takes all of us, along with the help of Spirit and Wisdom, to bridge the great divides and to make our lives whole.
Which is what I said to my son when telling him I wouldn’t be able to join them for the first part of the trip.
“It takes a whole village of love to raise you and your sister—and all of us,” I said.
He nodded a knowing nod and leaned into me, his way of saying, “I hear you, and I know.”
***
For grandparents who took our kids to play arcade games on their last day of school (something Adam and I would’ve normally done), I give thanks.
For nurses and care partners who’ve shown such support, love, and care (even going so far as to make Dad a lemon bundt cake, hand delivering it to him in the ICU), I give thanks.
For the dear friends who’ve prayed and are praying for all of us in all the many and unique ways our prayers manifest, I give thanks.
For strangers who helped my husband and kids make it on planes, I give thanks.
For my husband/partner who holds down the proverbial fort in kind, gentle, organized ways, I give thanks.
For the village of love that raises each of us and forever reminds us that we are not alone, I give thanks.
That we may be part of the village of love for others. That we might raise one another in love.
This is the hope. This is the prayer.
Amen.
***
I plan to pause writing here for a couple of weeks, unless, of course, the desert mountains call me to share a photo or a prayer or a meditation, which is always a strong possibility. Likely, though, I’ll be back Sunday, June 9, and until then, be love, beloveds.
-Claire
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Keep sharing the Good News of Blessed Are the Women by purchasing more copies and sharing her stories with friends! She’s here for all who long for a woman-led faith and who believe in God, Our Deliverer, the One Who Gives Birth, and reminds us, we can give birth, too.
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Yes, to all that. Hard decisions all, requiring persevering resolve even when the heart and the body object. Sometimes you just have to overrule those advisors.
This ❤️: “Wisdom is the voice reminding me that instead of being separate and apart, the worlds of young and old, healthy and sick, painful and easy are actually two sides of the same coin.” Hope you feel loved and held by the mountains. ❤️